Documenting my creative recovery.
May 24 – May 30
Recovering a sense of Autonomy
“This week we focus on our artistic autonomy. We examine the ongoing ways in which we must nurture and accept ourselves as artists. We explore the behaviours that can strengthen our spiritual base and, therefore, our creative power. We take a special look at the ways in which success must be handled in order that we not sabotage our freedom.”
Week 11 Tasks
1. Your own voice
Record your own voice reading the Basic Principles. Tape a favourite essay as well. Use this tape for meditation.
2. A written prayer
Write out your Artist’s Prayer from week four, place it in your wallet.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for what you have given me.
Thank you for the opportunities I’ve had to bring me to where I am today.
I hope to continue to grow, to continue to follow the path that you have set out for me.
I hope Lord that you will continue to watch over me. Help me to make the right choices.
Guide me, guide us.
Guide us to love one another, to nurture each other, to understand one another.
Guide us to create, to become our truest selves as you intended in our creation.
Amen.
It’s nice to revisit this prayer, I didn’t really look at it again since writing. For the past few years, I’d always pray for these same things. It’s just now, I’ve started to ask to be guided by God towards a path instead of just telling God that I was wishing and hoping for things to be better. It moves the expectation over from “this will just magically change” to “take notice in the ways it can change and move towards that“. I think that mindset shift has been really strong for me, it helps me to want to define the things I truly want, it helps me to realise my control over my future rather than blindly hoping for a airy idea and just hoping that thing comes true.
3. Seventy wishes
Buy yourself a special notebook, place a category on its own page; health, possessions, leisure, relationships, creativity, career, and spirituality. With no restraint, list then wishes in each area. Let yourself dream a little.
Health
- Bouldering
- Walking pad
- Healthy breakfasts
- No more caffeine
- Clear and healthy skin
- Swimming
- Healthy sleeping schedule
Possessions
- Collection of art books in my bookshelves
- Fancy gouache
- An amazing wardrobe
- Awesome studio computer
- Awesome gaming computer
- Big and strong studio printer
- Silver magnet wall for studio work
Leisure
- Visits to the Philippines
- More trips to the beach in summer
- Just more time spent relaxing in nature and in sunshine
- Time to create art only for my enjoyment
- Healthy amount of time spent on video games lol
- Spend more time watching birds (makes me happy)
Relationships
- Becoming closer with those already in my life
- Offering comfortable space for each other to be open about troubles
- Making time for one another, showing that we care for each other
- Finding strong connections in the right creative communities which power my dreams.
Creativity
- Inspired to share my stories
- Inspired to write
- Inspired to paint
- Happy as I work
- Happy in my self expression
- Unafraid to be a beginner
- Joy in the journey, content in the endings.
- Making fun things too eg tarot decks, calendars, journals.
Career
- Published successful books
- A successful artist selling paintings
- I create what i want to create, and people buy it, stable and easy income
Spirituality
- Doing more tarot readings, strong understanding of the deck.
- A stronger ear for my inner child.
- Keep a more positive mindset.
4. Honest Changes
Revisit your ‘Honest Changes’ in week four, how have you changed?
What honest changes is she talking about?? haha there isn’t a task worded like that in week four! There are a few call-backs like this where she is referencing a mysterious place— but luckily, I actually did answer a task in week four a way where I’m able to reflect on some honest changes.
“9. Look at one situation in your life that you should change, reflect on the pay-off of staying the same
first thought about my answer when people ask me “what have you been up to?“
Right now, my answers are always the same (and I hate them all)
- Not much.
- Just working.
- Just cleaning.
- Just gaming.
- Just chilling.
What would I rather say?
- I was finishing a painting I’ve been working on
- I just wrote the second draft of my comic script
- I was writing the final chapter of my short story
- I was printing the photos I took at an outing
- I’m in the middle of editing a new youtube video I filmed last weekend
I want these parts of me to change, I want to do them more, this is the me that I want to present because it’s a me that will be happier.”
How cool, I HAVE actually been able to say most of these things!! I’ve been able to say that I’ve been painting, taking and printing photos, and been able to say that I’m writing a book and in the process of finishing up the first draft!! Though to be fair, I then deflect the questions about what I’ve been writing (I’m not ready to share yet) with the topics of video games. BUT that’s me willingly talking about games, instead of having nothing to say but games!!
When I wrote the list of things I’d rather say, I didn’t yet know that my comic would be coming back to life. And right now it’s absoloutely thriving and thrashing and grabbing a hold onto me!! And my painting stares at me as I ignore it while I only write my comic and nothing else! This list was clearly at my core, because all of these things I do still desire. Unfortunately, filming videos has fallen off the passion-list a little. I think it was a bit too much of a hurdle for me, and created a block that was messing with my other artistic desires, I’ve put it on the back burner for now. My main focus at the moment is momentum with the things I’ve been wanting to do for forever; painting and wiriting. I can’t let anything get in my way! Not even a camera.
5. Changing as you continue
List five ways you’ll change as you continue.
I hope to carry on all the things learnt from this course. Especially my morning pages!
- I will learn to listen to my artist more and more clearly. I will know how to keep her happy, how to nurture her when she is tired, and how to support her when she asks to create.
- I will minimise the things that block my creative flow, unhealthy content, unhealthy music, unhealthy foods, unhealthy mindsets. I will listen to my body, so I don’t overwork it and cause an energetic crash!
- I will continue to fill my well, I will explore the world, find things to inspire me, to learn from, to study and improve upon. (Such as comic book stores!!)
- I will work to express myself more surely, in my fashion, in my art, in my space, in every aspect of my life that I can. This will maximise my self-confidence, and a more clear view of myself.
- When I feel myself sensitive to how others act, I will be sure to look into myself first to understand why I feel that way. To avoid unnecessary ill feelings in myself or others, to minimise anxiety, to maximise empathy and calm, and therefore creativity.
6. Your six month nurture plan
List five ways you’ll nuture yourself in the next six months.
- Collect art books and comic books, fill my well and my shelves with things that inspire me.
- New gouache paint, brushes and canvases! Keep myself painting.
- Slowly evolve my closet, feel more confident and sure.
- Chip away at my fitness, get a walking pad to start.
- Keep having light breakfasts, have more seafood in my diet like I’ve wanted!
7. Your one week nuture plan
List seven concrete and loving actions, one for every single day of the week!
- ✅ A warm bath
- ✅ Hang up my paintings by the desk (I did it but need to redo it)
- ✅ Visit the comic book store!
- ✅ Craft a comic book crate (Almost complete, just need to sand it! I’ll show you next week)
- ✅ Zombie game with my brother and Dad
The paintings hung up: Success!! Then immediate failure haha it fell down just one hour later and broke the frame!! Scratched a couple paintings too 🙁 The sticky-hook I put up was too weak, I’ll try again and just put a nail in the wall!! The universe telling me to commit to my art, clearly.
8. A letter to your inner artist
Write and mail an encouraging letter to your inner artist. Remember that your artist is a child and needs praise and encouragement.
9. Reexamine your God concept
Are you open-minded about altering your concept of God?
I wrote about this in my morning pages <3 The answer is yes! I think God’s resources are loving and unlimited! We have to open our minds to the possibilities larger than we can image!!
10. Personal synchronicity, supporting a creative force
List ten examples of synchronicity you’ve personally experienced that support the possibility of a nurturing creative force.
- A dream (a literal sleeping dream) that fuels me to begin writing again. A desire of mine that I’ve solidified through the course.
- There’s more too, I listed them in my morning pages!!
Week 11 check-in
The Artist’s Way has questions for me to answer specifically in my check ins, let me answer them now!
How many pages did I keep up with in my morning pages? It’s every day brooo !!
Did I do my artist date this week? Yes back to the comic book store for a comic that desperately clung to my brain since I was there last week. I was so nervous that someone else might have taken this niche comic, that it would be gone when I came back. But how amazing that it was still there!! Well not really, most comic people are into Marvell and DC! Not my weird comics hehe.
Did I do my artist date this week? Yes back to the comic book store for a comic that desperately clung to my brain since I was there last week. I was so nervous that someone else might have taken this niche comic, that it would be gone when I came back. But how amazing that it was still there!! Well not really, most comic people are into Marvell and DC, Not my weird comics lol
I’m so happy that I went back, what I thought was one issue was actually the complete mini series. The art style, the action, the movement, it was everything I dreamed it would be… Gun Candy will be my biggest inspiration when it comes to the action in my comic.
Did you experience any synchronicity this week? What was it? I do think coming across these perfect genre comics is an act of divine synchronicity. If you’ve ever searched through a full comic book store with no title in mind only a vibe, you’d agree with me on the luck it takes to find the exact comic for you!! All these series I’ve found each teach me what I love and what I don’t and I’m so inspired when I read them.
One day, I hope someone will be feeling this same way as they come across my comic in a store shelf!
Were there any issues significant for my recovery? Nope I am feeling electric and I’m going to ride this wave as long as I can paddle it !!
I finished this month’s calendar in my journal! I want to share it with you <3
Leave a Reply